Sacred Marriage and a VIRGIN -

When I recall marriage witnessed to me by the two human beings in the portrait of marriage of man and woman; I only see a picture that was never fully lived in the TRUTH and the REALITY of what the vocation is and should be in the Roman Catholic Church I have loved and will always love.  And the deception and failure of who they were witnessing to those willingly around them; told me there was a deceitful apprentice.

Why would virginity not be the essence of Holy Marriage?  And why would women degrade this essence?

Do you really believe a woman would decide to degrade herself?